Highs Below Zero

My Patreon

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, the saying goes.

That first step can be hard, though. It can feel impossible. For some people, it is.

What do you do when Step 1 is beyond your reach?

Steps to Step 1

Read more: The First Step

Before you take any first step, you need to know where you want to go.

This has always been a problem of mine. What do you want to do, Veronica? What box do you want to check when people ask what you do for a living? Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? On your deathbed, looking back at the scope and value of your entire life?

What do you want?

My problem is, I want to do everything.

I used to joke I have “Create-DHD,” and now I think it’s just garden-variety Attention Deficit. I’m calling this phase of life “MayDHD,” because I have no official diagnosis but lots of people have been like, “Yeah, you need a doctor about this Vero.”

Anyway.

I wanted to write. I wanted to perform. I wanted to make comics, to make films, to write a novel. I wanted to juggle, to teach, to travel, to commentate.

I registered for this Patreon account back in — gosh, I don’t even remember. 2016? Earlier? When I created it, I thought I wanted to make videos. Or video essays. Make songs. Give advice. Tell jokes.

I never published a thing on here. I was paralyzed, not knowing where to start. I was unfocused, and without focus, every project I started quickly collapsed. I wanted to make everything, and consequently, I made nothing.

I wanted too much, which was a sign I didn’t actually know what I wanted. Because I didn’t know what I wanted, I couldn’t determine what the first step should be. Obvious, right?

The solution to that problem may seem simple, but it wasn’t to me, not in my 20s. Now that I’m a bit more seasoned, in my late 30s, it is very clear.

The Real First Step is Figuring Out What You Really Want

My Step 1 was not Step 1 at all. It was more like, I dunno, Step 10. My actual Step 1 was way further back. In pursuing what I thought I wanted, I had skipped it entirely.

It took almost ten years of working on myself to understand what it is I want. It was a lot of journaling, a lot of advice-seeking, a lot of falling and picking myself back up.

But once I figured it out, I started finishing projects more and more easily.

What do I want?

I want to build bridges. I want to foster community. I want to make connections.

I want to enlighten, in both senses of the word. I want to educate, and I want to lighten other people’s burdens — the way I learned to lighten my own.

I may make videos, songs, and comics to do that. I may make jokes about it. But “making stuff” is not the point anymore. The destination is not the product, it’s the product’s byproduct.

My goal is to empower others and spark joy.

Fill-you-up joy. Long-lasting joy. Make-life-worth-living joy. Free, renewable, and shareable.

That’s my goal. That’s where I want to end up. That’s the destination.

So now that I know where I’m going — what’s Step 1?

Step 1 to Spreading Joy: Reach Out

Turns out, I have been doing Step 1 the whole time. By building community in my home town, by sharing my struggles openly, by trying and trying and not giving up. I have been reaching out, and it’s been working. So well, that I’m actually already on the my next step: Grow my reach.

That’s why I’m here, now. Why I went back on Patreon, after a decade of waffling.

This has been a major fear, for me. The internet is a big, wide world, and it’s not always kind. I’m used to being anonymous online, where cruelty stings less. It’s much harder to be myself. But I take inspiration from others that have been doing this for longer — especially those who started after I did.

I’m going to make mistakes. I’m going to fumble. But that’s how learning to walk goes. You stumble, you take a hit, and then you get back up again. Chumbawamba got it right.

I’m at the tail end of Step 2, now. Not finished yet. I still have to hit “publish.” It’s not real until other people have seen it.

Then, it’s easy.

Step 3: Keep Going.

If you are interested in following along, please subscribe.

Reach Back

What is your Step 1 today?

Originally posted October 8, 2025.

Prepped March 22, 2026.

Posted May the Fourth, 2026. Enjoy The Force, to those who celebrate!